Hole in my pocket
by Rainbowimagination
Summary: Buffy always gets everything. Even him. Who will notice me anyway?" But does Dawn notice her surroundings? Does she see love that possibly comes her way? Or maybe she needs to learn how to notice herself. He can teach her. S-6/Spawn
1. My Spike Although, only in my dreams

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own Buffy-verse**

**Belong to Joss Whedon!**

**  
Chapter 1 My Spike. Although, only in my dreams**

_Feeling a presence as I'm in my room alone in the dark. I know he's out there._

_I'd like to think I could sense him just as well as Buffy can.  
It's not hard to tell him apart from the rest of them. I want to look out my window to see him which window he is looking at. Is it mine? Or Buffy's? It could never be mine._

_I couldn't…_

"Miss Summers?" Dawn snapped out of her daydream, sitting up and removing her hand from under her chin.

"What?" She was in the here and now again, feeling disoriented because obviously she didn't know what had been happening around her. She heard giggles coming from the classroom.

"Would you like to take your stand here now and discuss why the cultural museum should be rebuild in Sunnydale. You defend the rebuild. Mr Parkway who you'll be debating with, will be against the rebuild," Dawn felt her cheeks turning red.

"S-sure," she stammered and rose from her seat. She took her stand and addressed to the classroom: "The museum should totally be… rebuild because kids will be culturally educated," she stated.

"Well, why should the museum be rebuild for that? If you want to be educated just go to the library," Shane Parkway replied. there came an assent mumbling from the class.

"Yes, but you won't live up to the atmosphere," Dawn bit back.

"Very good, Dawn." Mr yung commended Dawn as he pointed out his finger to her. "You may take your seats again.

_That was a short debate, _Dawn noticed. _Maybe he just wanted me to pay attention again. _She knew her society teacher could sometimes test people that way.

In her seat she tried to pay attention the rest of the class. It would be her last class of the day. After that she would have to go to the magic box and do her homework.

When the bell rang, she stood up with dislike and started to pack her bag. She knew Buffy would be there and probably most of the time she would tell Dawn off for being there. Telling her to sit still and touch nothing except her homework.

Slowly she made her way out of school, making it a sport to be as slow as possible. She stopped in front of a shoe shop, spotting a nice pair of blue sneakers.

She hesitated. Stealing shoes would be a new challenge. She would have to reconsider how to exactly do it before doing it. Finally Dawn decided to walk along.

_I have to get back to my boring life sometime, _Dawn thought. She started to dream away as she finally entered the magic shop.

_His hair is like snow to me. His eyes. I just feel my knees getting weak whenever he peers his eyes into mine. Will he ever look at me in the way he looks at Buffy?_

_His hands are so sexy. Is it crazy to like somebody's hands that much? _

"I wonder what he could do with them."

"Who could do what with who or what?" She heard a questioning male voice. She felt her cheeks turning red. Didn't realize she had said it out loud. Then she turned around quickly. _And his voice… sigh._

"Spike," she said innocently_._

"You upto something, love?"

Dawn shrugged and tried to look as nonchalant as possible while her heart started beating so quickly and loudly that she was sure Spike could hear it with his vampire-ears. Spike eyed down to the place of her heart and frowned for a bit.

"Where's everybody?" Dawn tried to change the subject.

"Out. Big sis told me to watch you."

"I can perfectly take care of myself," she answered placing her hands on her hips.

"Sure you can pet." Dawn threw her bag on the big round table and sat down.

She started to rummage through her bag pretending to look for something.

Eventually she took out her diary.

"What's that?" Spike pointed to the notebook.

"It's private," Dawn snapped. Spike smirked. "I find private things interesting." He joined her at the table. He was like a great big elephant in the middle of a room. You simply couldn't ignore him even though you wanted it that bad.

Realizing in what kind of danger her diary about Spike could be she put it in her bag.

"So, tell me about school then," Spike said.  
"It was ok." Dawn admitted. Silence.

"Dawn… are you in love?" Spike asked out of the blue. She looked up shocked at him. His blue eyes were locked into hers for a while. The vampire smirked his: haha-caught-ya! at her. "You are I can see!"

"So, who's the lucky bloke?" She knew he was just being interested in her, but she wanted to ignore him so badly. All that Dawn wanted was block him out and forget about him. He wouldn't _see _her.  
"You probably don't know him," she answered avoiding his question. Then she raised an eyebrow. "And you still chasing after Buffy?" Spike's face dropped. But actually she didn't want to hear the answer. So, she crossed her arms over her chest tightly to close herself up and thought about something else.

For once it worked. She let the answer enter her ear and then let it leave immediately again. Dawn would do this whenever she wanted to protect herself from something.

So, what if she didn't really receive it?

Who would _notice_ anyway?

_Authors note: _

_Like it? Review please!_

_Got suggestions? Please suggest._

_There's gonna be Spawn romance! Though I'm gonna tease and build up the tension. _

_Tell me if the format is ok like this. I'm way lazy to fix it right now, but if it's annoying to read I'll change ;) _


	2. Time for action

**Chapter 2**

Buffy entered the kitchen as Dawn was pouring herself a glass of coke. She looked overworked. Probably she had double shifted at the meat palace again.  
"Hi Dawnie," she tried to sound cheerfully. _Don't call me that! _But she didn't say it, only thought it."You had a good day?" her sister informed.

"Yep! We played monopoly, had some tea, and more," Spike answered for her when he walked into the kitchen.

"Spike," Buffy and Dawn said at the same time.

"What's with the saying my name every time you see me? a Summers girls thing?"

"Well, maybe you could stop sneaking up on us," Buffy said. "First thing I know is you're not here, next thing BOOM there you are,"  
_In a full lot of sexyness__, _Dawn thought.

"So sorry to hear you're intimidated by me, pet," Spike chuckled amused. He walked up close enough to Buffy to kiss her then just looked down.

"Now what?" Buffy asked, placing her hands on her hips elbows facing backwards and kind of looking annoyed.

"You tell me. A nice massage after work perhaps?" he wriggled his eyebrows being constantly focused on her. _I don't need to see this_, Dawn clenched her eyes.  
Buffy stepped backwards finally. "No thanks, I'm all set," she answered.

"I wasn't talking about you," he said cheekily.

"Oh please" Buffy sounded disgusted and left the kitchen.

"Or a thank you would work!"He called after her. Then he looked at Dawn who still had her eyes closed.  
"Are you ok, bit?" he asked. She flung her eyes open. "Sure," she said walking out of the kitchen as well.  
Spike threw his hands up in the air. "Ok, you Summers women are just the weirdest things." He left the house.  
And Dawn was watching him leave. From the corner of the living room.

"Dawn, did you finish all of your homework?!" Her sister called from upstairs.

"Yes!" Dawn called back.

"Good, then we can watch TV together"

"Sure," Dawn mumbled and she made herself comfortable on the couch.  
She reached for the remote control and zapped through the channels. A few minutes later her sister joined her.

"What we watching?" Buffy asked.

"Passions," Dawn said.

"Ugh," Buffy icked.

"Ugh why?"

"Ugh because Spike likes that as well,"

Dawn shrugged. "So?"

"So, I like not to be remembered to Spike,"

"What's the big deal anyway? He does whatever you want him to do. He watches me, helps you fight…" Dawn began carefully.

"I don't want to talk about it," Buffy sighed. nobody knew the secret about her and Spike and nobody should know.  
She liked to come to him for comfort. To be lost for a while. To be protected and loved.  
That didn't necessarily mean she had to love Spike back, right? At least she had found the way and the will to survive through all of her problems.  
The last thing she needed was her own sister confronting her with the fact she was using him.

"Buffy?" She heard a voice in the distance.

"Yes Dawn?"

"Do you like Spike even if it's just a little bit?"

"Dawn, please stop it"

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"I don't know and that is the truth," They watched the TV in silence for the rest of the time.  
Dawn felt herself getting tired and closed her eyes on the comfortable couch.  
Buffy started to feel lonely. It was like a bug creeping up on her and making her feel itchy. Itchy for love.  
Willow walked in.

"Hey there" the red-haired witch greeted her.

"Hi. Could you watch Dawn for a minute? I feel like kicking some ass," Buffy greeted her, dropping the bomb.

"Sure," Willow agreed.

"Thanks Will" Buffy put on her short, leather coat and left. She needed love even if it was a lie.  
Dawn started to wake up as Willow was rummaging about in the kitchen. She sat up straight. Where had Buffy gone?

"Hey Dawnie, you awake?" Willow called from the kitchen.

"Yeah!"

"Good, I hate to say this but it's kind of late already. Time for you to go up." At first Dawn wanted to protest, but then a plan came up in her mind. She'd go up, turn of the light, wait a few minutes and the climb out the window. She didn't feel like sleeping. She felt like paying Spike a visit. She craved for some action in her boring life.  
So she smiled. Playing the good girl.  
"Sure," she said. She hugged Willow goodnight and went straight up.  
Time to go… Maybe she would even get him to take her to the Bronze. She smiled.  
Time for some action.

_____________________________________________________________

_Authors note:_  
I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. Truly wonderful. Gave me some great ideas as well!  
So... what will happen next uh? Keep reading and reviewing! I like to create Spawn and like to do it for Spawn fans as well.


	3. Err Manly

**Chapter 3 -Err.. manly-**

Dawn walked down the graveyard holding her hand in her bag so she could grab her stake anytime she'd need it.  
Her eyes shot from side to side, paranoid.  
When she heard twigs breaking she lifted her hand holding the stake and as soon as she noticed it was only Clem she dropped her hand again.

"Clem!"

"Dawn!" The gentle demon said his ears flopping back and forth. He gave her a hug.

"What's a girl like yourself doing here alone in the graveyard? It's dangerous, you know," He said, but not in a 'I'm telling you off" way.  
He really just sounded concerned about her. Dawn shrugged.

"Taking a walk, maybe pay Spike a visit," Clem's eyes grew a bit bigger like it was shocking him what he told her.

"Well, that doesn't sound like such a good idea," he linked arms with her and started to walk her around.

"Why not?" Clem bit his lips.

"I'm not sure if I could tell you that, Dawn"

"Sure, you can tell me anything" She grinned. "It's not like I'm telling anybody else," she led him unnoticeably in a different way that was leading to Spike's crypt.

"I really think we should leave Spike alone tonight," Clem said.

"Is there something wrong with Spike?" She asked curiously.

"Not really. It's nothing to be concerned about," Clem held off.

"So, it's not big a deal?"

"No,"

"Then tell me, Clem. Pleaaassee," Dawn placed her hands on her hips and put on puppy dog eyes.

"Why don't I just take you back home?" Clem avoided.

"Whatever" Dawn dropped her hands and headed for the crypt door.  
"You're just like everybody else. Always trying to protect cute little Dawnie from the truth. Screw you, Clem!"  
She yelled and placed her hand on the door knock. Clem reached out for her.

"No Dawn please don't," But she had already swung the door open.  
She found Spike sitting wide-legged on his bed. Naked. Looking shocked at her.  
She was too surprised to even say anything. She just gazed at him with big eyes.

"Dawn…"

"Errr…" She quickly turned around, left and closed the door, facing Clem.

"How did you know about that?" She asked.

"Demon's intuition" He answered. Then he pulled her arm. "If you'll listen to me next time now. Now let's go somewhere safe."

"Is she gone?" Buffy asked from under the covers.  
"Yep," Spike answered. "It's good I have my vampire hearing. You wouldn't have heard them coming with all your moaning," he smirked at her squeezing her bum.  
Buffy grinned and climbed on top of him. "Let's finish this" She murmured in his ear and kissed him passionately.

Clem walked next to Dawn, but they had been pretty quiet while they were sitting against a tree tame.

"Are you done pouting yet?" Clem carefully asked. Dawn looked at him and addressed him a weak smile.

"Yes, thanks for looking out for me," She couldn't help but seeing Spike naked all over again.  
It was the first time she had ever seen a man undressed and it made her feel very confused.  
She had looked at him up and er… down. He.. it.. had looked so… manly  
It made her wonder how it would feel if she could just touch that body.

"Clem?"

"Yes?"

"When was the last time you ever saw a woman naked?"

"Well.. I.. I think about a… I… I don't know," he stammered. His cheeks were turning apple red.

"You're blushing, Clem. That's so sweet!" Dawn said triumphantly.

"Can I ask you a question now?" Clem asked.

"Sure,"

"When did you start fancying Spike?" Now it was Dawn's turn to deny.

"I don't like Spike," she protested.

"Ok ok, whatever you want," Clem sighed.

"Take me home," Dawn commanded.

"Fine." As they got up she noticed somebody leaving Spike's crypt in the distance. But the figure was to far away to exactly make out who it was.

"Look," She pointed out to the figure. The person was wearing a white coat with a capuchin over the head.

"Do you know who it is?" She asked Clem. He shrugged.  
"Come on," He linked his arm into hers and started to walk her home.

__

Letting her hands explore softly Spike's chest Dawn looked him deep into his blue eyes.

"_I've been waiting for you to do this" he moaned and softly forced his lips on hers.  
She closed her eyes and let him lead the kiss that was soft at first but it started to get more passionate as Dawn answered it.  
Her hands were all over his chest now, stroking down to his stomach. She stopped at little below his belly button.  
_"_I'm ready," she whispered in between kisses. Spike took her hand and lowered it, and just as she was about to touch him__…_

* * *

**A/N: Gnagna just had to stop right here.  
Hope you looking forward to the next chapter!**


	4. A fool for love

Chapter 4

"Dawn, get up! You're gonna be late for school!" Dawn's shot open at her sisters call.  
She sat up in bed, still feeling all tingly and her head spinning. She swallowed hoping the effects of the intense dream would fade away.  
Then she sat on the edge of the bed looking at the sunlight that was coming through the window.

"I'm coming!" She called back. She got up to get dressed and started slowly walked downstairs.  
Then something white got her eye. Something that looked to familiar to her. She narrowed her eyes as she saw her sister down the stairs.  
She gave her the evil eye and walked to the kitchen.

So, it had been Buffy.

"Is there anything you want to tell me, Dawn?" Buffy asked. Dawn faced her, crossing her arms.

"No, do you?" She raised her eyebrows, holding same tone in her voice as her sisters.  
Buffy didn't seem to be expecting this kind of answer and kind of backed away.

"N-no," she replied, apparently realizing it wasn't exactly the most smart question to be asking.  
The girls started to make their breakfast avoiding each others looks. Dawn felt like a knife had stabbed her.

Buffy had been at Spike's crypt yesterday and she wouldn't tell her. Would the others know about it?  
That the whole get-away-from-me-Spike had just been an act.  
Not only she was mad at Buffy though. She started to feel upset with Spike as well. He hadn't said anything either. Without switching anymore words Dawn left for school.  
From now on she would force herself to forget about her crush. To practically ban Spike out of her life.

"Dawn, girl!" Melinda shouted out as she walked upto her in school.

"Hi Melinda," Dawn forced herself to smile. Melinda was the only person that had been quite nice to her on school. She could even be considered a potential friend.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come to a party with me tonight. Don is so gonna be there and I really uhm… fancy him, you know" Melinda winked.

"Sure, sounds cool!" Dawn smiled for real this time. Things were getting better for her. Finally a party that she could go to.  
It would help her take her mind of Spike for sure.

"By the way, James is gonna be there as well. I think he's totally into you. Shall I pick you up at nine?"

"Wait…" Dawn pushed her hands down. "James?" She grinned.

"The football James?"

"Uh-huh," Melinda nodded flicking her blonde long hair behind her ear.

"He's totally cute!"

"I know, right! Now let's get to history,"

Dawn crossed her arms over her chest tight as she narrowed eyes at Buffy.  
Her nose holes growing bigger as she breathed angrily. She just enjoyed doing this. She enjoyed ruining her fun.

"Come on, please let me go! I'll be totally fine. Melinda will pick me up," Dawn waved her hands down.

"And who is gonna bring you home afterwards?"

"I can take care…"

"No, no, no!" Buffy shook her fingers, cutting her sentence of.

"I will not let you get yourself into trouble," she stated.

"I really want to go to this party," Dawn begged. Buffy dropped her shoulders and bit her lip, lubricating for what seemed like two minutes.

"If you go finish your homework first, I'll overthink a solution," she finally decided.

"If I finish it you will let me go?"

"We'll talk about a compromise," Buffy promised. Dawn threw her schoolbag over her shoulder and rushed up the stairs.  
Ok, history first. That essay was gonna take longest. It had to be about the religion of the Egypt's.  
How they believed in different kind of gods. She opened her books and started her computer to surf on the internet for information.  
She logged on on instant messenger and started to type her essay interwhile. Dawn was alerted by getting a message. A little bell rang to let her know this. She muted the sound of the computer so she wouldn't be caught messaging during her homework.

_Melinda (is in for the party): Hey sweet cheeks! You ready to roll for tonight?_

_Dawn15: I totally am. My sister is going all hard about it though_

_Melinda (is in for the party): That totally sucks! What you gonna do about it?_

_Dawn15: She'll let me go if I finish my homework_

_Melinda: (is in for the party): So, she totally gone mom on you?_

_Dawn15: Yeah whatever you're saying. Sorry, if I'm answering slow. I'm doing history essay interwhile._

Dawn mineralized the message screen and started working on her essay again. Now and the giving respond to Melissa.  
After what seemed like two hours she was finally done with the main bit of the essay. She just had to finish it of with a nice epilogue.

_Melinda (is in for the party): You done now?_

_Dawn15: Yes! History is off the table. Now just need to do some more math and I'll be done. I'll totally call you in time ok?_

_Melinda (is in for the party): Sure! And don't forget to look your best!_

_Dawn15: I won't, byeee xxx_

She closed her computer and opened her math notebook and schoolbook. She caught herself drawing little hearts on the corners of her pages.  
The numbers just couldn't bother her at all. She read the sums over and over again and finally Dawn looked at the clock. 16.45.  
_Come __on Dawn, just four sums, _she forced herself and started writing them down.  
When she looked at the clock again, it was 19.00.  
She felt defeated. Buffy hadn't even come up to see her or talk to her and Melinda had to know if she'd had to pick her up.  
She furiously trotted down the stairs and dashed into the living room. It was empty. Then she looked at the kitchen. There she was right with her nose into the fridge door wearing that leather coat of hers.

"You know, if you make a promise you should definitely keep to it!" she raised her voice.

The figure stepped back and faced her. Then she noticed it was Spike.

"You?"

"Big sis's gone out. Ordered you some pizza," he answered. Then she faced away.

"I err.. uhm.. you…"

"Gone all shy now, pet?" Spike circled around to face her.

"I'm sorry I busted in last night," she apologized, holding her head down so she wouldn't face him.

"Bet I gave you a hell of a good time," Spike grinned. Then he rubbed her shoulder.

"Don't mind it, love. I'm here to take you out tonight."

"You?" Dawn's eyes grew big. "But why?"

"Your sister alerted me that you'd need somebody to bring you to a party and get you back home, so here I am!" He widened his arms doing this as if he was inviting Dawn to give him a hug. _Oh no, __I was supposed to forget Spike at the party!_

"What you're not happy?"

"As long as you don't interrupt the party," Dawn warned him.

"I'll just be around to make sure you're safe, Dawn. I won't embarrass you, honestly!"

_That's not what I'm afraid of_

"You don't seem very happy" Spike repeated.

"What am I supposed to be happy about? Everybody's just always keeping the truth for me. And you, you're not better than the rest of them! You're lying as well!" Spike fell silent.

"You just go and have your pizza in the living room," Spike gently pushed her away. "I'll talk to you later,"

To devastated to say anything Dawn took her pizza and sat herself down on the heard Spike's suppressed voice talking to somebody over the phone. She pressed her ear against the wall to listen closely.

"What do you mean it's over? Are you dumping me over the phone? Yes… I know that Dawn knows. Should that be a reason to… ? I never asked you to love me… Are you hearing me complain? I know this game inside out, slayer. You know we're not done… So, that's it… ? " Then she heard a click.  
A few minutes later Spike entered the living room. His eyes were red and kind of blubbery. Then Dawn realized it. Buffy had been using Spike. Spike had been a fool for her.  
He fell into the arm chair and kept awful silent. Dawn looked at him, wanting him to face her.  
Finally his eyes met hers. Very carefully.

Dawn got up without saying a word.  
She gently said down on his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head into his chest. Then she felt Spike kindly responding to her gesture.  
Holding her back with his left hand and caressing her long, brown hair with the other.  
She carefully looked up at him and cupped his cheeks into her hands.  
"I'm so sorry, Spike," she whispered.

* * *

A/N : A quick update. I hope you love it!


	5. Is or isn't he?

**A/N: First I want to give you a very very special thanks for all of your great reviews.  
I'm so excited people are being so drawn-in to the story. It's what I write for. Plus I love your suggestions. I write for my readers so these are very welcome and I'll see however I can work them into the plot!  
**

* * *

Spike's blue eyes peered into Dawn's. An akward silence fell between them. The communication was in their eyes. Hers were awaiting a reply. He looked confused.  
There was some kind of examination as if he saw Dawn for the very first time.  
It was a moment.

_I wonder what he is thinking right now... _

A moment that was broken by the sound of the doorbell.  
Spike gently took her hands of his cheeks, squeezing them and letting them go.

"Let's get you to your party," he said. Dawn slid of his lap to open the front door.

An overexcited Melinda hugged her. "Come on, let's go. I really can't wait!"  
She grabbed Dawns hand and pulled her outside.

"Wait for me," Spike rushed to the frontdoor. Surprised Melinda turned around.

"Who's this?" She pointed at Spike slightly surprised.

"Friend of Buffy," Dawn explained. "She's worried, you know," she excused for her sister rolling her eyes.

"He's taking me and bringing me home too,"

"Aww I get it!" Melinda nodded. "He's cute," she whispered in Dawn's ear. Dawn poked her.

"Don't even think about it!" she grinned. They both giggled.

"He totally won't be bothering us," Dawn explained, then adressed Spike. "Right?"

_He better keep out of the party!The last thing I need is a grieving Spike.  
Probably he's got his head full of Buffy. _

_Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. _

"Nope." He answered shortly, popping his lip at the end like he pronnounced the punctuation.

"I'll be behind you. Just in case,"

Dawn pretended she didn't hear him and listened the whole way to Melinda who couldn't stop talking about her crush.  
But somehow she liked the idea of Spike walking there. She felt protected. He was so strong.  
She smiled to herself.

"Are you even listening?" Melinda asked ripping her right of her pink cloud.

"Sure!" Dawn nodded trying to convince her. "I was just thinking how cool this party is gonna be."

From the beginning of the block they could hear music.

"Did I mention that there's this band?" Melinda wondered out loud. Dawn shook her head.

"Nope, are they cool?"  
Melinda shrugged. "I don't know, we'll see." She winked at Dawn while they walked to the front door of the house and rang the doorbell.  
Dawn looked through the window from the outside. People were cheering and dancing inside. Her friend's crush answered the door and Melinda walked in, greeting him in her girly way not having any attention for her anymore.

"Dawn?" Spike grabbed her arm before she followed.

"Yeah?" Dawn turned around.

"I'll meet you outside at 23.30," he said.

"Sure," she said, sounding quasi annoyed. She walked in and shut the door to his face.

_Can't believe I just did that!  
_She walked through the house full of people for about 15 minutes. There were a lot of students from higher classes.  
Probably there were some vampires as well. As she scouted the rooms for Melinda, she was tapped on the shoulder.

She was greeted by a great big smile.  
"Hey Dawn,"

"Oh hi James!" Her eyes were gliding over the room.

"Did you happen to see Melinda by any chance?"

James nodded. "I just saw her and ... , you know," He winked at her. "You'll probably do best to leave them alone for a while"

"But I'll keep you some company. You want me to get you a drink?" He added.

"Totally!" Dawn replied and smiled at him.

"Great!"

While she waited for him to come back, she looked around to see if there were any other people that she knew. There was Katie. She was the typical school slut.  
A queen bee. Everyone talked about her and looked up to her. But in reality most people were just scared of her. Scared to become subject of some nasty gossip she would make up. Katy turned her head and locked eyes with Dawn. She smiled her fake sweet smile and giggled about something with her friends. After that she made her way to Dawn.

Hiya," She sniffed while greeting her. Dawn decided to keep her cool and be friendly back.

"Hi"

"So good to see you finally got out of your colouring book phase," She viciously said and then laughed. Before Dawn could reply somebody did it for her.

"Get over yourself, Katy," James said and handed Dawn a drink.

"James." She scoffed. "Do younger girls fit you better?"

"Shut up, Katy. To me you just sound plain jealous. It's your own fault I broke up with you. Come on, Dawn," James took Dawn's hand and pulled her away from Katy.

"Don't mind her," He said and softly squeezed her hand. It send a slight shiver down Dawn's spine.  
James really was going to be a good way for her to get her mind of the blonde vampire.

"Let's go see the band outside," He suggested. Dawn happily followed him out. It was a punk-rock band that reminded her of sum41. They were cool and this party was just so cool. And James…

_I guess James likes me…_

_Or is he only out for something else?  
It's pretty likely. Guys that age they want… sex.  
And then maybe later brag about it to friends. I wont let him get that far yet though._

Dawn combated with herself, watching the band play while drinking cocktail after cocktail. Thoughts kept on playing her mind.

_Maybe he will have me for tonight. Just to__ prove that he can have any girl.  
It could even be a set up between him and Katy. Like to make fun of me.  
_

She felt insecure.  
"What are frowning your beautiful face about?" James asked. She hadn't noticed that he was watching her. She shrugged and shyly smiled.

"Do you like me?" She asked.

"Well, I like to see the smile better than the frown," he said with a laugh and put his hand around her waist. It made her feel real nice and kind of nervous.  
She slowly looked up at him. Their eyes got locked into each other. He had real nice dark brown eyes. His hair was black and short. She turned to him. This was going to be the moment.

"What do you think you're doing there?" It was Melinda who playfully poked her.

"You're ruining the moment, Melin," Dawn hissed. Melinda giggled, hanging around Don's waist. She was obviously drunk. "Sorry. Just take on where you left of," She grinned and pulled Don inside.  
James looked at her again.

"You want to go some place more quiet?" He asked her. Dawn nodded and let him lead her...

* * *

A/N: Bet this one will have you asking yourself: Is he, or isn't he?


	6. Animal instinct

**A/N: Due to my evilness with the cliffhanger of the previous story, here is another chapter.  
****(With an evil more evil cliffhanger) **

* * *

"Are we even supposed to go here?" Dawn asked as they entered a bedroom.

"Guess not," James winked. He sat down on the bed and patted on the covers.

"Come sit with me," Dawn obeyed and sat herself down next to him. She was glad to sit down since she could barely stand on her feet after having all these cocktails.

"At least I guess we won't be disturbed by Melinda here," he grinned.  
"Yeah," Dawn nervously chuckled. He placed his hands on her waist very carefully and looked deep into her eyes.

"Where were we?" He asked and he started to lean in, kissing her lips. Dawn didn't dare close her eyes, just in case. He gently let his tongue enter her mouth, exploring.

Dawn finally closed her eyes for a bit since it didn't seem that suspicious anymore. It was a nice kiss, but it didn't grow more passionate.  
It just remained the same. After a few minutes he pulled away, looking at her.  
"That was great," he said. Dawn noticed how beautiful his eyes were. They were so expressive.  
He flicked some of her brown hair behind her ear and started kissing her again. He softly kissed her upper lip, and lower lip and started to trace kisses down her neck. It was really gentle at first, but then she felt him sucking on her neck with more pressure. Panic hit Dawn.

"Stop," she said.

But James kept on going.

"Stop!" she demanded this time. She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him off her neck. She looked at his devastated face and became slightly surprised herself.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"N-nothing" Dawn stammered.

"Are you not…?"

"I'm not what?"

"Get your bloody hands off her!" She heard a furious voice in the doorway. She looked up and saw a furious Spike.  
His hands were made into fists. He stormed to the bed and looked ready to kick James' ass. Dawn stopped him.  
"S-spike. It's ok." She signaled him. She turned to James. "I'm sorry. This is a a… friend. He's kind of overprotective. Wants to make sure I'm ok," she tried to explain.

"Ehmm," James looked as if he didn't know what to answer.

"I'm so sorry. I have to go. I see you tomorrow on school, promise," She pecked James on the lips and grabbed Spike's arm. As if he had been the naughty naughty teenager.  
She didn't speak to him until they were outside.

"What were you thinking?" She waved her hands around furiously.

"I bloody was trying to protect you!" Spike raised his voice as well.

Dawn sniffed. "As if! You're just after Buffy," She crossed her arms and speeded up.

"I'm not doing this for Buffy!" Spike yelled at her and grabbed her by her arm to stop her. She looked at him.

"O yeah, then what are you doing it for?"

"I'm doing it for you!" He made final statement and dropped her arm. There was silence between them, but the tension in the air could but cut with a knife.  
Both their eyes shot fire at each other.

"You _need_ to stop thinking that you're always a pain to everybody. Cause bloody hell, pet, you aren't! " He then said. Dawn just kept silent. At this she turned her back and started walking again. This time slowly, sticking her hands in the pockets of her black winter coat.

"Are you hearing me, Dawn?" He asked upset. Dawn stopped again and sighed. Then she turned around.

"Yes, Spike. I did hear you," she said, almost whispering.

_I might not be a pain to you, Spike.  
__But I won't have your dead heart. _

"He was not a vampire, Spike," she added. "He was an actual guy that liked me,"

Then she headed home. Spike just stood there watching her go for a few feet and then started to follow like a loyal dog who had been rejected by it's owner.  
Dawn left open the door for him. He waited there until he saw her light go off. Then finally he entered the Summer's home and went upstairs.  
This time not to Buffy's room. But just to watch Dawn sleep.  
He understood that this girl was feeling very rejected herself.  
Her sister wouldn't let her be around the research scene a lot and even although the scoobies were nice to her they treated her like a child. Not like a girl who was growing up to understand the world.  
They kept her small.  
She must have felt like he'd be treating her the same. Always trying to protect her from the world. But the truth really was that he wanted to protect her from darkness only.

He also wanted to show her things.  
Then his thoughts started to take another route. She had seen him naked.  
It made him wonder what she would have felt. Clearly she was shocked and kind of embarrassed by the unexpected situation. Her cheeks had gone apple red.  
He looked at her innocent face. He got up noiseless and sat down on the edge of her bed.  
It made him wonder… what would she look like?

He slowly lifted a bit of her blankets. Dawn moaned and it shocked Spike.  
But not enough to be dropping the blankets and waking her up doing it. He peeked under them.  
His vampire sight was better in the dark surroundings so he could make about she was wearing a cotton night dress.  
Disappointed he slowly lay the blankets over her again. Then he kissed her forehead, walking to the doorway where he looked at her for a final time. Then he attempted to leave.

"Spike?" She heard a voice questioning.

He turned around.

"Yes love?"

"Would you just stay for a bit?" Dawn asked.

"Sure," he sat himself on a chair next to the bed and caressed her hair gently.

Dawn felt good having him there, but she wasn't quite pleased yet.

"Spike?" She asked after about 15 minutes.

"Hmm?"

"Would you just hold me?" She asked and made place for him on her bed. After a short hesitation Spike lied himself down, letting Dawn snuggle upto him.  
At this point Dawn felt comfortable.

Spike softly stroke his hand up and down her bare arm. Dawn's body started to respond to his touch. She felt tingly like in the dream.  
At first the feeling was subtle, but then it was teasing her more and more. Finally she cautiously started to touch his face.  
Her fingers tracing down from his forehead, over his and his lips and chin, running over his cheeks. He closed his eyes enjoying this touch.

It was nice and comforting. It was perfect.

Slowly he moved his hands down to both sides of her waist. She shuddered, breathing more heavily. He moved so he bending over her, looking deep into her eyes. She looked back at him longingly. He smelled her body scent. It was getting stronger and he knew what it meant.  
It was some sort of animal instinct that made him recognize what was going on. He moved his hand over her belly and then touched the skin under her night dress.  
Holding the left side of her waist with one hand.

Dawn let him do it. With Spike she knew that he was not only out to get with her.

That it should mean more than that.  
His hand teased her and at the point where he should be touching a sensitive spot he slid his down to the side of her underwear, touching her hip.  
At this point she felt like she would explode before he even continued touching her. Dawn laid her hand on his and made him stop moving it around. Then he slowly started to pull his hand back.

"I'm sorry," he apologized with a whisper. "I should have asked,"  
It was the animal instinct that had taken him over. That made him want to be with her so badly. The smell of her body.


	7. Like ecstasy

**A/N: sorry to keep you waiting so long, but since I found out James Marsters is coming to visit our country I've been waaaaaaaaay distracted. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hot and steamy. ;) **

* * *

"Maybe I shouldn't be doing this," Spike whispered.  
"I want you to do this," Dawn insisted.

"It's probably not a good idea right now," he admitted. Then he gently covered her up with the blankets.

Dawn looked at him with begging eyes. "I want it to be you," she repeated.

"But not now," he cupped her cheeks into his hands and placed kisses all over her face.

"Now I know you want it too," she continued. She looked down at his pants and the bulge that was greeting her fiercely.

"There's time," he patiently explained. "I have to go," He placed a final kiss on her forehead. "I will be here tomorrow night. Your sister is going to be at work again," Then left. Before Dawn could start complaining again.

Her body felt confused. It was doing all sorts of things to her that she couldn't stand.  
She longed for his touch so badly. Now she had only gotten a little bit of him. She closed her eyes.  
Still feeling Spike's hands on her body. And finally she fell asleep restlessly.

Dawn could hardly concentrate at school. Her head was spinning and spinning around. She didn't see James, neither Melinda which gave her a bit of a rest since she didn't really feel like answering any questions.  
After school Xander picked her up.

"How's my Dawnster?" Xander asked as she stepped into the car.

"I'm great,"

"Heard you had your very first party last night. You didn't get bitten?" Xander joked.

Dawn shook her head. "Just nearly," she replied. Xander went silent at her answer.

"I'm totally kidding," she explained when she felt saw the look on his face.

"Phew," Xander answered relieved. "Now don't scare me like that again," he pointed a finger at her quasi upset.

She loved Xander to bits. He used to be her favorite 'babysit'. Playing monopoly with her and ordering pizza together or just watching cartoons.  
Now she only wanted Spike. The thought of tonight made her belly butterfly.  
Xander was with her in the house for the afternoon. She spent all day turned into herself. Being nervous about seeing him again.

_Just get yourself together!  
__You've seen him like a dozen times. What's the big deal?  
__What will he be like tonight? Will he simply pretend it didn't happen?  
__Will he talk to me? _

"You're extremely quiet, Dawnie" Xander said and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. They sat on the couch watching TV. "Is there anything I should know about?" He asked brother-like.

Dawn shrugged. "Nah"

"Ok then," Xander answered like he was slightly disappointed with the answer.

"It's just usually you're all babbly about everything and nothing" He added.

"I'm ok," Dawn answered shortly. She kept on looking out the window. The sun started to set.  
Then she heard the relieving sound of the doorbell. She let Xander open it.

"Fang boy." He scolded at the blonde vampire shortly as he let him enter the house.

"House maid." Spike barfed back. Dawn got up of the couch, crossing her arms over her chest and watching the two guys on their short-word fight.

"You better take real good care of Dawn," Xander warned Spike and finally turned to Dawn. "And if he doesn't you better call me," He said. Dawn nodded.

"Bye Xander," she greeted him goodbye as he shut the door.

The moment the door shut their was tension between the vampire and the girl.  
Their eyes were locked into each other. Dawn felt her heart starting to beat faster as she waited for what he was going to do.  
He slowly approached her till they were face to face. Still Spike hadn't said a word.  
As Dawn was about to break the silence, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her very close to him with a gentle, yet secure force.  
He kissed her passionately and felt the lust inside of him growing. He was hungry for more.  
He lifted her and she clenched her legs around his waist putting her against the wall. Her body scent started changing again.  
"I want you," he mumbled in between kisses.

"Have me," Dawn moaned back. He dropped her kindly so she was with both feet on the floor again and then lifted her again.  
Holding her in his arms he carried her upstairs and put her on her bed carefully.  
He lied her down and continued kissing her softly letting his hand run up and down her upper body.  
Finally stopping at the bottom of her top he started to lift it over her slim body. Dawns heart was pounding like crazy.  
She took his head and lied it down on her heart. Spike smirked to himself.

"Is that what I'm doing to you, pet?"

"Yea, just don't stop," she begged. He sat her up to undo her bra, caressed them softly. Her nipples turned hard under his touch.  
Dawn roughly started undoing his shirt and gasped at his upper body.

"What?" Spike chuckled. "It's not like you've never seen me before, pet" He took her hand and placed it on his chest.  
Dawn caressed it and kissed him again.  
They both laid down next to each other.  
Then Spike started to unbutton her pants and slowly slid them down until she was naked except for her underwear.  
She felt a bit insecure about doing the same to him, so Spike helped her with the first step by taking her hand and putting it on the button of his jeans.

"It's ok," He whispered to her. That helped Dawn to cross the line and she took his jeans off.  
For the next step she covered them with the blankets since it was both cold and just a bit scary. It was going to be the first time since she would actually touch 'it'.  
She let her hands explore and let Spike do the same to her.  
Finally she reached a point where a funny feeling build up within her and then released itself. She moaned in pleasure.  
"Again! Do it again," she pleaded and pulled Spike in for more passionate kisses.

Spike smirked. "Like it, don't ye?"

When she reached the feeling for the second time, she wanted more.

"I'm ready for you," she said softly but firmly.

Spike caressed her hair lovingly. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"I'm way sure," she replied. She let Spike climb on top of her.

"I'll tender," he assured her and caressed her all over her body hoping it would relax her enough. He wanted her so bad.  
Dawn clenched her eyes and bit on her lip to prevent her from screaming. She felt a slight pain and then it started to get pleasant.

Like ecstasy.


	8. Comfort

_That was mind-blowing__  
_  
"You think so?" Spike grinned.

"Did I say that out loud?" Dawn asked.

"Sure you did, pet," he kissed her on the lips which made Dawn hum lightly.

_I now imagine w__hat Buffy likes so much about this. It's so passionate. __But how can he be over Buffy so soon?  
__Bet I'm just comfort._

She backed out of the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Spike asked.

"Nothing," Dawn tried to wash away the thought of him and Buffy.

"And what's on your mind?" She asked.

"Do you need to ask me these woman questions?" Spike replied ruefully. "But if you must know I was thinking that this was great fire works. You and I."

_And?__ So, nothing more?_

"Dawn, I'm home!" Buffy's voice interrupted her thinking. Dawn's eyes protruded as for Spike's as well.

"Shhhhhit!" she cursed. "Get dressed! I'll block the door" She ran towards her bookcase and shove it against the door soon.

"Dawn?" Buffy questioned again.  
Silence.  
Then they heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Quicker," Dawn hissed at Spike.

"Sorry love, but I can't go any faster than this" Spike whispered while jumping into his jeans.

Heels down the hall. _Click… clack_

"Use you're vampire speed," Dawn suggested dryly.

There was pushing against the door from the outside. Dawn signaled a still half undressed Spike to climb out of the window. Which he did.

"What's going on in there Dawn?" Buffy's voice was starting to fill with a tone of worry.

"Err.. nothing," Dawn called while running around the room, shoving all her clothes under the bed and shooting into her nightclothes.  
"Is that you, Buffy?"

"Yeah it's me! Why did you barricade your door?"

"I thought it was something… evil" Dawn replied while shoving her closet back into the corner. The door finally swung open.

"Something evil… like?" Buffy stood there shaking her head as if she couldn't guess what could be so evil. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I thought I heard you talking to someone. "

"I was telling the demon to leave"

"That soft? " Buffy frowned at her.  
"Why's your window open with a big spooky could-be demon walking around?" She asked eying to the open window. "And where's Spike?" she finally closed her question waterfall.

"Spike?" Dawn's voice trembled. "He said he to go," she quickly made up after a short moment of hesitation.

"Ahhh," Buffy nodded. "I soooo will be kicking his ass later," She turned around to walk out. Dawn stuck her hand in the air like she wanted to stop her.

"No please don't!"

"Dawn, he left you home by yourself!" Buffy protested.

"But I'm old enough to be alone," Dawn protested back.

"We're not having this discussion," Buffy finished and she walked down the hall to her own room and shut the door to Dawn.

Dawn faced herself in the mirror on her door. Her hair still looked messed up.  
Hadn't Buffy noticed anything? She fixed it with her hands. Then she walked to the window.  
She hung her head out of the room and sighed. Spike was gonna get it.  
That was for sure.

"You told her I had to leave?" A voice asked. Dawn jumped at the question.

"Geez Spike! Don't go Peter Pan on me, please!"

"Don't worry, love. I can't fly"

"You need to go now before Buffy catches you,"

"She will anyway," he chuckled. It sounded so double-up and as Dawn didn't really knew how he meant it, her face dropped.

"Don't be sentimental because I have to go. It's not like we won't be seeing each other again," He said.

Dawn nodded.  
"Bye Spike" She said and before he had the chance to say anything else she closed her window and closed the curtains on him.

_Looks like I'm only comfort after all.  
_It was the last bitter thought that she was thinking as she closed her eyes in her bed.  
She curled herself up and hugged one of her stuffed animals to comfort herself.

* * *

**A/N : Again I'd like to thank everyone so much for sticking supportingly to my story. Your opinion is very important and counts very much for me.  
Please remind that any suggestions are very welcome  
Happy reading!**


	9. That should work

Chapter 9 -That should work-

It was Saturday morning as Dawn woke up to ruffling sounds from downstairs.  
She heard plates that banged down on the kitchen table and glasses that were clinging together. At the roughness of the movements she knew it was Buffy.  
She sat up on the edge of her bed . She laughed to herself.  
That had been one crazy dream. Her and Spike… and… _It was real. _The thought hit her like a slap in the face.  
She felt a mix of confusion and happiness in her stomach.  
Happy because she wanted it to happen. Confused because she was convinced that she only served like some kind of comfort for his heartbreak from Buffy.

She remembered speeches that Buffy had given the scoobies about Spike.

"Never trust him. He is still like an animal held back in it's cage," she had said.

And _yet_ she had been sleeping with him and thought that she could just hold it all back.  
Dawn made her hands into fists. She was raged by the thoughts that were crossing her mind.

_And now he'll be settling for me.  
__Because I'm a Summers as well. He's taking comfort in me.  
__He's using me! _

She punched her pillow very hard, grabbed it and threw it across the room.

_That stupid mind-fuck!_

Somebody knocked softly on her door.

"Dawnie?" Willow entered the room. "Are you alright, sweetie?"

Dawn looked up at her and frowned.

"Yes" she answered slightly annoyed. She hated it when people called her Dawnie. Willow eyed down at the pillow right in front of her. She picked up and handed it to Dawn.

"Buffy told me to get you for breakfast" the red-head informed her. Dawn didn't reply.  
"There's pancakes and juice" Willow tried cheerfully.  
Dawn got up and dragged herself out of the room followed by Willow.

"Good morning Dawn!" Buffy said cheerfully as Dawn entered the kitchen still with a sulk look on her face.  
"Made you pancakes" She handed a plate with pancakes to Dawn. They were star shaped.  
Buffy used to bake them to her when she was younger and Dawn loved them. Now they just look childish to her.

"Thank you" Dawn mumbled in a soft voice. She took a seat at the kitchen table and ate her pancakes quietly.

"So what fun thing will be doing today?" Buffy asked Dawn. Dawn looked at her in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"Let's have a sister-sister day today," Buffy suggested more clearly.  
"We'll do fun sister things" Usually Dawn would have embraced the idea of spending time with her sister but today she felt too angry.

"I still have a lot of homework," She shoved it off.

"You can still do your homework tomorrow. It's Saturday. You should have some fun!" Buffy encouraged. Dawn shook her head.

"It's quite much," She held of.

"Oh ok." Buffy's face dropped like she felt a little disappointed. "Is it anything I can help you with?"

Dawn shook her head again. "No, but thanks. I'll be starting now," she lied. She left her plate in the kitchen sink and turned to walk out.

"Did you get over your demon-shock?" Buffy informed. Dawn turned her head slightly.

"Not quite yet," she answered shortly. "But I will get over this demon." Silence. "I mean demon-shock" Dawn corrected herself as she saw Willow's frown.

Willow quietly followed Dawn upstairs and went to her own room.  
Gosh, that poor girl was troubled, she knew.  
She had been right behind her door as Dawn's thought had entered her mind. She sat down on the bed. Just thinking to herself as she repeated the thoughts again

_And now he'll be settling for me.  
__Because I'm a Summers as well. He's taking comfort in me.  
__He's using me!  
That stupid mind-fuck!_

Then her words just minutes ago. "I will get over this demon."  
There was only one demon she knew Dawn was fond of.

Spike.

The witch opened her spellbook.  
"Let's see what we can do to fix it," she softly spook as she turned the pages.

"A-ha! Mens Lector" she finally pointed triumphantly. "That should work." she smiled frolicsome.


	10. Wanting prelude

Chapter 10 Wanting (prelude)

Dawn was lying on her bed.  
Staring at the ceiling. She had been like that for hours.  
When Buffy had come to check up on her, she had grabbed a book pretending to be reading for her 'homework'

It seemed like a hundred thoughts were crossing her mind.

_I want Spike to love me. _, she sadly thought.  
_I want him to tell me. I want…  
__I don't want him at all! That stupid bastard!  
__He doesn't even want me.  
__So why would I want him?  
__Oh… but I want him to want me!_

"Dawn! I'm out to patrol! I left you money to order food!" Buffy called from downstairs.

"OK!" Dawn yelled back.  
Eventually also Willow came with her own announcment into her room. "I will be out for just an hour or so. I need to get something at the magic shop. Will you be ok alone for an hour?"

"Yes," Dawn nodded.

"Good luck with your homework" Willow pointed to the book that was open and lying next to her on the bed.  
It was like Willow knew something more. There was knocking on her window as well this time. She looked up. It was Spike!  
Her heart started to beat faster. She wasn't sure if she wanted to let him in. She crossed her arms and just looked at him. Spike signaled. Finally she decided to let him in. She opened her window and he climbed into her room.

"Why did you come?" Dawn asked.

"Well, that's a nice hello" Spike replied sarcastically.

"Why the sulk face? Aren't you happy to see me?" He approached Dawn until he was in her personal zone.  
"If you must know you drew me here. I kept on hearing your voice all the time while I was home. I had to go check on you"

"You heard my voice?" Dawn asked like she couldn't believe what he was saying here.

"Yes. Very disturbing. You said all these things about me. They weren't very nice,"

"I didn't say anything about you!" Dawn defended herself. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away demonstrative

_What is he on about?  
__Did he come to take advantage of me again? _

Spike circle her placed the back of his hand on her face and ran it down her cheek. Then he leaned in for a soft kiss.

"I could never take advantage of you, my sweet bit" He whispered while looking deep into her eyes.

"Wait…" Dawn pushed him away. "I didn't say that out loud"

"You didn't?" Spike frowned. They looked questioningly at each other. "Then I'm hearing your thoughts?"

Dawn shrugged her shoulders. "I think so"

"Wow that's creepy" Spike admitted.

"Yeah" Dawn agreed obviously feeling uncomfortable. She rubbed her arms nervously.

"Anyway I came here to show you something," Spike said.

_Show me what? _

"That I want you" he lifted Dawn and lied her down on the bed.

_In what way?_

"I want you to be with me" He replied her thoughts. It felt special.

"Let me prove it to you"  
He slowly started to undress her.  
First her top, then her skirt and finally her lingerie until she was naked in front of him.  
Then he took of his own clothes. Except for his underwear. He covered them with blankets.

"Just let me touch you. You won't have to please me this time," he whispered in her ear. Then he kissed her very tenderly on her lips.  
She answered his kiss and let him lead it.  
It was long and mushy. He traced his kisses down her neck over breasts, softly kissing her nipples.  
Then under her breasts going down for her belly. In the meanwhile his hands were all over her body.  
Dawn's body trembled heavily. He kissed her waist and her hips. Then his lips tracing down slowly...

* * *

A/N hah! A cliffhanger for you ;) And this is just the prelude...


	11. Wanting interlude

The feeling that came over Dawn was overwhelming.  
She had never felt anything like it. She felt warm on the inside.  
It was like her butterflies didn't restricted their selves to her belly anymore. They were flying through her whole body including her head.

She groaned softly running her hands through Spike's hair.  
Her body started to shake slightly as if an earthquake was building up.

Then finally she exploded with a load moan.

But Spike didn't stop.  
And only seconds after that she arrived for a second time.

Spike crawled up on her.  
She could feel him. She longed for him once again.

"You're mine" Spike gasped as he kissed her passionately.  
He held her close to him running his hands softly, tickling over her back. T  
hen he kissed her neck again and softly sucked on it. One hand found it's way between her legs again.  
As he held her protectively he slowly moved his hands up and down. This time it took a while for her.

She was hot and cold.  
She felt wanted. She felt it.  
Finally.

Dawn felt the feeling releasing itself for a final time and this time it was more heavily.  
She felt like it at least should have taken half a minute. Exhausted she fell onto Spike's chest.  
He kept holding her so tightly that Dawn knew there was no doubt about him wanting her.

She felt tingly. She was itching for more.

"I want more. I want to feel you" Dawn pleaded.

"I thought we agreed that now it would revolve around you, pet" Spike winked.

"Yes and _I_ want it" she forced herself on top of him and took of his underwear. She guided him into her and slowly started to move and bend over to kiss him as Spike held her close.

There was something about the look in his eyes when they were doing it that made Dawn feel like a real woman.  
The feeling that she could pleasure him. That she could have _him.  
_The way that he looked when the feeling for him was about to come.

And the point when he got there. His eyes clenched, he muttered her name and his face relaxed.


	12. Wanting after cuddles

She lied her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her.

_Tell me… _

"Tell you what, love?" He asked stroking her hair.

"Never mind" Dawn said as if it wasn't that important to her. But it was.

_Tell me you love me…_

"I will, bit, I will" he softly said. But he didn't say the words. Which made Dawn feel insecure.

"You will have to go," she said all of a sudden, standing up and gathering her clothes. Spike looked puzzled

"Why?" he asked.

"Because somebody is going to be home soon," She tried hard to repeat the words that she had just said in her head so Spike wouldn't hear anything else but that.  
She put on underwear and a spaghetti banded pink top.

"Who are you trying to fool now, love?" He asked with a tone of anger in his voice.

"What?" Dawn shrugged her shoulders

"You're hiding,"

"It's not so much fun when you're able to look inside my head!" She defended herself. "I just lost all of my privacy!" She crossed her arms over her chest closing herself to him once again.

"Maybe there's a bloody reason why I'm able to"

This triggered a waterfall of thoughts.

_Get out… Get out! Get out! Get ouuuuut! _

_I hate you.  
__You don't even love me anyway.  
__You can't even get these words out of your fanged mouth.  
__Why would I trust you? __I hate you!  
__All you really want is Buffy.  
__I'm not good enough…  
__I'm not good enough_

Her body started to shake as she finally broke down crying. She turned away from him.

_Great,  
__Now look what you've done…  
__Get out of my head!_

She suddenly felt two strong arms around her waist. She tried to get out of them, but the grip was too tight.

"Dawn, you're gonna listen to me very carefully now," Spike said in a low voice that was almost too calm for his being.  
"I don't know how thoughts like this creep up in that pretty little head of yours, but you are way of base. This doesn't revolve around Buffy anymore, love. It's you! Get the thought of you not being good enough out of your head immediately. You are outstanding!" He paused "And I know that you don't hate me," He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. He placed his hand under her chin so she was forced to look him in the eyes.  
"And when I feel ready I will say _it_" He cupped her cheeks into his hands and gently brought her face closer to his. He leaned in for a deep kiss. It made Dawn skip her breathe for few seconds.

_But how could you __**love **__**me**__?  
Not too long ago all I was is energy. _

_  
_He kissed her more passionate holding his hand on the back of her neck.  
When they broke apart she looked dazed at him.

"I can hear it's gone finally more quiet in there" he pointed his finger at her head. But till his surprise she frowned at him.

"No, actually it isn't. I was just _thinking_ things"

This time it was Spike's turn to frown.  
It looked like the mind-reading gift he had been given had disappeared as quickly as it had come…

* * *

**A/N: Ohhh where did it go?**


	13. Planning a party

As Spike walked down the stairs the front door opened. It was the red-head that stood right in front of him.

"Red" he greeted her shortly.

"Oh Spike," Willow said, her eyes twitching and nervously playing with the keys in her hands.

"What are you doing here?" She said in her usual _'actually I know what you're doing, but I'll pretend I don't' _way.

"I'm standing here waiting until you close the door"

"What?"

"Sunlight, love" Spike pointed.

"Oh right" She closed the door.

"What's it that your being so hoppy about?" He questioned her, noticing her nerves.

"N-nothing" she stammered and walked into the kitchen.

A bell started to ring for Spike. "Wait," he explicitly commanded.  
She stopped and turned around like a child getting caught at stealing cookies.

"You _know_ something, don't you?"

"Know? No, I don't know anything!" she panicked. "Know… know about what?" she cautiously continued.

"Oh admit it. You have been a naughty witch!" He smirked.

"Sshhh" Willow put her finger on her lips and gestured him to be silent.  
She took his arm and pulled him into the kitchen and closed the door.

"It was only a temporary spell," she explained.

"But why?" Spike shrugged. Willow's eyes twitched again. "I haven't used magic for a while…" she started.

"Oh please! So, you go interfering?" Spike broke her of.

"Well, Dawn was pretty troubled. I think that there's someone who should…"

"And I'm up for the job?"

"Well, it's not that…"

"C'mon red, I can make up my own mind about Dawn."

"Is there something between…?"

"That's none of your bloody business!"

"So, we're having fun here?" A voice asked. Buffy walked into the kitchen.

"Buffy." They both said in choir.  
This time it was Spike's turn to feel nervous. He wondered what she had heard.  
But on the outside he kept it cool and calm.

"Is there any way that I could join in?" she informed.  
Willow wildly shook her head and wanted to talk, but Spike putting a firm hand on her shoulder forced her not to say anything.

"No, we were just…" Spike started.

"Discussing Dawn's birthday party which is going to be next… week" Willow finished smartly.

"That's right, yeah" Spike said in a low voice.

"The two of you are organizing it? Very very good" Buffy triumphantly nodded as if she knew it was just an excuse and leaving to the toilet with a half smile on her face

"Thanks a lot" Spike grumbled.

"What?" Willow defended. "You like Dawn, don't you?"

"Of course I like the bit, but I'm not the party throwing type,"

"Seems like a perfect challenge for you" Willow cheekily said and then walked into the livingroom.

"What? Now I'm doing it alone?" He threw his hands in the air. "Oh c'mon Red!"

She grinned. "No, fine I'll help"

"Good."

"I'll decorate and invite friends,"

"So, what do I do?"

"Go shopping" Willow teased.  
Spike rolled his eyes.

"I know you're quite busy planning the party, but I'd like to have a word with Spike alone" Buffy said who came back once again into the room.  
She walked into the hallway in expectation that Spike would follow her...

* * *

**A/N: Alrighty! I'm gonna ask the readers cooperation here. I'd really love it to get some ideas and suggestions for where this is going.  
What is Spike gonna get her? Is it gonna be naughty? Is he gonna wear a party hat perhaps? :P Or maybe he won't show up at all leaving Dawn feeling furious? **

**All ideas are welcome!  
Make it your story too!**


	14. Not a happy sight

Dawn had mixed feelings

_At least he doesn't read my mind when I don't want him to…  
__But on the other hand he was the only one that actually __heard__ me. Literally.  
__Still I wonder when he's gonna tell me…  
__Patience, Dawn, patience  
_She finally told herself.

Downstairs she heard voices. She listened carefully. Was Spike still here?  
Had he bumped into Willow? And what if so, how was he explaining himself? She sneaked into the hallway of the upper floor.

"Listen, if you're doing this to win something then you shouldn't"

It was her sister and Spike. The voices came from the hallway down the stairs.

"What would I want to win?" Spike answered kind of irritated.

"Come on Spike, we both know the answer to that question," Buffy said waving her hand firmly. "You're not throwing the party because you want to" she added.

"Why? I can't throw Dawn a party because I want to?"

"So, you just became all cute and cuddly then?"

"No, but I could want it" Dawn smiled to herself and held her hand to her heart. So, Spike _did _care. She tiptoed back to her room and this time made the presence of her coming more known with her footstep bouncing in the upper hall way. She hopped down the stairs innocently.

"Hi Buffy. Back already?" She greeted her sister. Then she turned her eyes to Spike.

"Hi Spike" she said casually.

"Bit," he nodded to her. It fell silent for a while. Buffy placed her hands on her hips, her elbows facing back.

"Err yes. We were just discussing…"

"Oh you don't need to explain" Dawn waved it away with a smile. Spike looked at her examining.

"Ok. So, why don't you go sit in the living room? I'll be right there," Buffy said sending her sister away. Dawn narrowed her eyes.

"Fine," she answered kind of bitchy. She walked out and felt Spike's eyes in her back as she walked away.  
_At least he's mine. , _she thought and immediately regretted her thought right after that. The tone of it.

Even though she wanted to be more involved in her sisters life and she hated her for not letting her, she shouldn't be thinking like this.  
Likely things weren't easy for Buffy as well.  
Spike had been her… well comfort. No matter how much Dawn hated it.  
She actually loved Spike. Her sister didn't. That was a big difference.  
It seemed fair that she who loved him could have him and be loved back.  
Dawn made herself comfortable in the living room, hearing the suppressed voices from the hallway. It provoked her curiosity.  
At one point she couldn't resist it any longer. She snuck into the kitchen which also had a door that led to the hallway and pressed her ear onto the door.

"Please, I just need…"

"I can't do this anymore, Buffy. You hurt me!"

"What changed?"

"I still love you, but…"

"Then what makes you turn me down?" Silence. "O god, this is so embarrassing" the voice of her sister continued with a hint of disgust.

"You broke up with me, remember? You didn't even give me a reasonable explanation for it"

"You know that Dawn was on the urge of finding out about us!" Dawn made fists. The conversation was truly making her upset.

"Honestly I think she's not that bloody stupid! I bet she's known for a while"

Then she heard them whispering. It frustrated her. She opened the door pretending to be walking in casually.  
The sight that was given to her eyes was not making her feel any better...

* * *

**A/N: yeah, i wonder what Dawn's seeing there .. don'tcha? ;)**


	15. Bring it on

Dawn swallowed.  
She couldn't let Buffy show any of her feelings. She gritted her teeth furiously.

"Dawn!" Buffy called out when she saw Dawn in the doorway.

"Getting cute and cuddly here?" Dawn informed. She shot Spike an angry look.

_Liar,_she thought. He looked panicked.

"Egghh no!" Buffy who had her fingers twirled around Spike's neck let go of him, backing away.  
Dawn raised her eyebrows. Then she walked out.

"What was that pissed off reaction about?" Buffy asked Spike suspiciously.

"How would I know? Look, I'll be around, Buffy. But I am not some sort of daft who will step up when you ask me to. I'll be where I want when I want it" With these words he left her behind.

"What you're gonna do?" Buffy called.

"Check on the bit"

_See, Buffy will always be Buffy.  
Little Dawnie will always be treated like the kid. Like I'm damn blind, _Dawn was leaning with her back against the tree tame in their garden.  
Her arms were crossed over her chest.  
She could feel his presence coming near her.

"Dawn…" He started.

"Let me guess you prefer my big sister?" she snapped.

"It ain't what you're thinking at all"

"Then what is it?"

"Buffy is still not having the most brilliant time here. It's hard for her"

"Why doesn't she share it with me?"

"She's being protective. You know her, right?"

"I guess" Dawn shrugged and finally looked Spike in his eyes for the first time. Spike was finding this a lot harder without his 'gift'

"I do need some time alone" Dawn told him.

"You mad with me?"

"I need to figure it out. Give me some time alone," Dawn pleaded again.

"Alright, I'll go back inside and check on Buffy," he admitted.  
"What am I Spike the big cuddle puppy?" He grumbled to himself.  
As he came back in the house, Buffy was nowhere to be seen.  
He ran up the stairs and knocked on Willow's door.

"Come in" Willow called. "Oh Spike… it's you" she flatly remarked when he came in the room and shut the door.

"Need your help, red"

"Sure!" then her face filled with a look of question and doubt. "And why would I help?"

"Because I won't tell Tara you did spells. Playing little mind games"

"Hey!" Willow called out indignantly. "Alright…" she quickly added.

"I need you to give me back that little 'gift' you gave me earlier"

"I can't do it permanently. It might go wrong"

"Do it anyway. I can take it"

"Ok, I will… but don't blame me later" Willow's fingers ran across the bookcase until she found the right spellbook.

"Let's get started, red" Spike sat down in the comfy chair in the room.  
"Bring it on.."


	16. Bits

**A/N : I am sorry for not updating this story for such a long time.  
****Last April I met James Marsters and ever since I felt too distanced from Spike. Simply couldn't call up image 'Spike' anymore.  
****But thanks to the last Halloween where I met him again I swapped right back into Spike mode because of something he did in a photo shoot with me.  
****Totally could imagine Spike/Dawn again.  
****I'm back… so sit back and read, review ;) **

* * *

A few days passed by. Dawn went to school, made her homework.  
Got stuck on the bored usual. But it kept her going.

"You have been really quiet. Is something wrong?" Melinda wanted to know as they walked down the school hall.

_Where would he be? __Haven't even seen him around Buffy lately._

"It's not that dumb Nancy you're worrying about, is it? She is such a skank…  
With the gossiping and all. You know with James? Right, well she's totally trying to… are you even listening?"

_Wonder if he's still thinking about me…_

Dawn gazed in front of her and snapped finally snapped out of her own world when Melinda tapped her on the shoulder.

"Sorry, just been a lot on my mind lately. What about James?"

"Yeah , what about James? Haven't heard you about him for a while now. Or are you into this blonde dude now?" Dawn laughed and waved it away.

"Of course not…"

"Oh lookie who we have there" Melinda pointed. Dawn's eyes followed Melinda's finger until her eyes met James' eyes.

"Hello Dawn," he greeted her.

"I'll be in the cafeteria, ok?" Melinda excused as she winked to Dawn.

Dawn nodded to her.  
"Sure!"

"So… I was kind of wondering why you haven't spoken to me since the party" James said.

Dawn felt a blush creeping upon her face at the memory of the party.  
"Well… I'm sorry. Things got a little complicated. I meant to talk to you" She smiled apologizing.

"At the party you gave me the impression that you… might like me" James shyly started.

"Yes. I do…"

"Well, I thought maybe we could go out for some ice cream some time"

_Maybe I should… __Why not forget about Spike for a while…  
_"Eerr ok.. why not?"

"Cool!" The insecure look in his eyes finally dropped. "How about this Friday?"

"Friday is good.."

"Cool. So, it's a date?"

"Yes"

James shyly smiled.  
"Guess I'll meet you Friday. Can I pick you up at seven?" He asked as he walked away backwards.

Dawn nodded and caught herself smiling. _Maybe he's less complicated…,_ she thought.  
_That wouldn't be so bad for me now…_

Spike was tossing and turning in his bed. He needed to catch some sleep on this hour of the afternoon, but he kept hearing Dawn's voice.  
He wasn't sure if it was in between his dreams or her thoughts.  
There was something about him… about ice-cream… about complication? He couldn't make out the whole thing.  
He turned again, kept his eyes closed.  
There she was again… _Spike… forget… Buffy… back… love…  
_He sat up. Why was he only hearing these bits?


	17. The little present

"Oh.. that's my date!" Dawn jumped up as the doorbell rang.

"Stay in crowded areas" Buffy reminded her little sister. "I will pick you up at 10 in front of the ice cream bar"

"I will" Dawn nodded, barely listening. She ran for the door and opened it.

She was surprised when she found Spike at her doorstep instead of her date.

"Hi bit" He softly said.

_What are you doing here? _

"Just wondered if you are done over thinking"

Buffy came to the door at the sound of Spike's voice. "You're on a date with Spike?" She asked surprised. Dawn didn't get a chance to reply.

"No, that would be with me" James turned up from behind Spike. At the sight of James, Spike's eyes gave looks of fury.

_Come on, Spike. Don't make this hard on me_

Buffy blinked when she noticed the look in his eyes.

"Come on James, let's go" Dawn nervously said as she could see an impossible situation developing here. She grabbed his arm.

"Have fun!" Buffy called.

"Uh-huh" Dawn replied.

"So, what are you here for?" Buffy informed Spike.

"To see if I had to watch the bit"

Buffy crossed her arms. "You seem way eager to watch my little sister lately. You got something you want to share?"

"Not a thing" Spike frowned. "Give her this on her birthday" He gave a little package to Buffy and then turned and walked out on her.  
Buffy studied the package that was actually wrapped.  
What a strange thing for Spike to do. Give her little sister a birthday present.  
It wasn't like the time he had attempted to give her chocolate for her birthday.  
The box of chocolates had been beaten up.

She took the package to her room and hid it in the closet. This way she would have time to over think whether she should give Dawn the present or not.


	18. Disrupting a date

Spike wandered of. He stuck in fingers in the pockets of his jeans. His thumbs resting over top.  
He kept on hearing half of her thoughts in his mind. Including his name.  
Sometimes the tone of her thoughts was angry. Sometimes it was a more gentle tone.

He had to find her. Had to let the bit know how much he really wanted her. Her scent was far away, but still subtle. He followed his nose.

It lead him to her. Her scent became stronger and stronger and it told him more about her state. It was heavy, loaded. That usually indicated sadness.  
He finally ended up finding them in the ice cream shop. He hid behind the corner, catching up on the conversation.

"You're not too chatty tonight" James remarked.

"I know, I'm sorry. A lot on my mind" Dawn replied.

"Are you having a good time though?"

"Yes, you're a very sweet guy" _But you can't seem to help me to forget about Spike_

Spike gasped. That was a full sentence of her thoughts. He smirked, started to realize the way it worked. The closer to Dawn, the more he could hear.

"Thanks" James said.

There was a short silence.

"Please don't" Dawn instructed him.

"Why not? I don't understand"

"Not ready yet"

"Just a little kiss?"

Spike felt the fire within coming up. This little twit was touching his Dawn. HIS.  
He stormed around the corner.

"Don't touch her!" He commanded.

"It's that blonde guy again?" James asked Dawn annoyed. "What's the deal with the two of you?"

"She's _mine_, that is_" _He growled. James gave Dawn a surprised look who had dropped her eyes to the floor.

"Is that true?" James asked her. Dawn didn't answer. "Ok, forget this" James rose and grabbed his coat. "I'm going" he announced as he left the ice cream shop.

Dawn got up, ignoring Spike and leaving the ice cream shop. Heading into the night.  
He followed her.  
A long silence fell before he found himself able to say something.

"Nibblet?"

"Stay away from me" Dawn spit out to him. She looked up. Her eyes were teary.

"Do you really really want me to be unhappy?"

"No, I don't, and you know that!" He cupped her sad face within his hands.  
They were close enough to kiss. He could hear her heart starting to beat faster and louder.

Just for him.

"But you and Buffy…"

"There's no me and Buffy anymore, pet. Open your eyes!"

"I'm not sure how to trust you…" Dawn softly said. "Like Buffy said: you are a soulless vampire" She shrugged.

Spike could feel anger within himself building up.

"I love you! And you know what your problem is? You don't _want_ to see it. All of the bloody things in your head are always about being jealous with big sis."

Dawn gritted her teeth. "I am… NOT!" she screamed at him.

"Sure you are. I guess you don't want me or any love at all. I'm done with this, bit.

What do you want me to do? Shout it from a bloody roof top?"

Her eyes started to water again and her bottom lip shivered. She attempted to kiss him, but he rudely pushed her off.

"You want to run of with nancy boy now? Cause that's fine. This time I will let you.  
But don't come crying to me" He pointed his finger at her.  
"Because this… it's over"

"Spike, I'm sorry" She called after him. There were hints of desperation in her voice.  
But he didn't look back.


	19. Sister to sister

Chapter 19

It was over.

She had lost him for good now.  
Tears fell down her cheeks. His words had been a slap in the face. A wake up call.

_If only I hadn't been such a jealous bitch. No wonder Spike doesn't want me anymore._

"Dawnie? Are you gonna come down?" Buffy called from downstairs.

Dawn tried to catch her breathe in between her crying so she could answer.

"No thanks!" She managed to reply.

"Don't be stupid, Dawn. It's your birthday!"

"Well, I haven't got any friends anyways" She declared, knowing that wasn't entirely true, but she hadn't invited Melinda.  
She had told Melinda that she wasn't gonna celebrate it this year.

"I'm coming up!" Buffy announced. Dawn heard her high heels clicking on the stairs. She knocked on the door.

"Please, leave me alone" Dawn said in a sad voice. She couldn't bear to see Buffy right now.  
It would remind her even more of what Spike had said. Her sister opened the door.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" She asked, sitting down on the edge of Dawn's bed. "You've been in here for two days in a row now"

Dawn looked at her sister with her wet eyes and then wrapped her arms around Buffy's neck, crying loudly.

"I _do_ love you, Buffy. I do!" She claimed as if she truly had to prove it.

"I know that, Dawnie. What's happened?" Her sister gently pushed her off to look her in the eye.

"I've been so jealous of you. I know I haven't been nice at all sometimes"

"Oh well, that is what sisters are for, isn't it?" Buffy faintly smiled. "Where did this come from?"

"I can't tell you. You'll be so pissed off"

"It can't be that bad"

"It is" Dawn sobbed. "I'm in love with Spike. No worse. I love Spike" Buffy examined the look on her little sisters devastated face.  
She couldn't deny it didn't hurt. But it hadn't come completely unexpected. She had been reading the signals.

"That's alright, Dawnie. If you want to"

"And I used to think Spike didn't _really _care for me, but it turns out that he does. And now I've just chased him away"

"I think he does care…" Buffy bit her lip.

"What are you saying?" Dawn asked in big surprise.

"I've been noticing things" Buffy admitted. She rose, walked to Dawn's closet and started to rummage to a pile of clothes. She handed over the little wrapped box to Dawn. "Here"

"It's..?"

"Yeah, Spike left it" Buffy told her. "I'll leave you alone with it for a while. If you want to come down for cake, you're free to."

Dawn studied the little box for a little minute. A few seconds she was on the verge of opening it.  
But she was afraid of what she'd find.  
She decided to wait and put it under her pillow.


	20. Can't get it out of my mind

Buffy felt weirdly calm. She couldn't explain why.  
She had the feeling that she should have been angry. She should have been pissed off. Especially at Spike. It was like her anger was suppressed.  
Like it was somewhere underneath all of the calmness. She felt numb.  
Maybe some patrolling could help her to feel again.

Spike was watching her window.  
Hearing soft sobs and louder cries every now and then. It had been four days now since he had given her quite the speech.  
She was constantly thinking about him. He could hear her thoughts clear and well.

It hurt. Hell did it hurt!

But he couldn't do it anymore. It was a like a brick on his chest. A feeling that kept him from breathing air at all.

_I'm so sorry, Spike__. I just want you here.  
__Want you to forgive me.  
__Please come back._

He couldn't bear hearing her voice any longer. He waited until her light went out and then took action.  
Spike rang the doorbell, knowing Buffy had gone out and Willow was watching the bit.  
The red witch opened the door as he had expected.

"I want you to make it stop!" He immediately came through.

"I can't.." Willow said backing away to let him in.

"It's driving me crazy!"

"Well, you insisted and I told you that…"

"I don't care, want it gone!" Spike interrupted her. "Find a way, _please_"

"Magic comes with a price, Spike. This is yours," Willow said coldly.  
"It's like a tattoo. You can't just remove it"

"Bollocks!" Spike cursed, banging his fist against the wall. "So, the only thing I can do is just… what? Stay away?"

"That's a possibility," Willow said dryly. "Other way is: you could kiss and make up"

"You're not a great help" Spike muttered.

"Suit yourself. I'm going to sleep" Willow said as she closed the door.

Spike felt frustrated.  
He banged his fist up against the thick tree in the Summer's garden now, barely feeling any pain.  
There was a detail that had escaped his eye in the mean time.  
Dawn was watching him from her window.


	21. Not ready

Chapter 21

"I'm sorry, Dawnie. Can't stay in this time. You'll have to learn to deal" Willow patiently tried to explain.  
Dawn's eyes had a furious focus into hers.

"You can't do this to me, Will" She complained and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry I waited this long to tell you, but you have got to face each other some day" Willow tried to lay her hand on the teenagers shoulder, but she turned away.

_Don't want this  
__I'm not ready _

"Come on now, Dawnie. Buffy took it pretty well, didn't she?" Willow tried to reason.

"How did you know about that?" Dawn narrowed her eyes. She saw that the witch became slightly nervous at the question.

"Well, it's.. Buffy and I"

"You're lying" Dawn cut her of.

Willow rolled her eyes. "Ok, I might have helped a little" she admitted.

"How could you! How could you even create the thought of Buffy approving me and Spike?"

"Don't make it such a biggie" Willow reacted slightly annoyed by now.

"It _is_ a big deal!"  
_You liar_

"Ok fine, how would you like me to undo it? You would never have been giving the gift that Spike wanted you to have!"

_That gift__. Still haven't opened it. _Dawn realized.

"I thought that maybe, just maybe you'd feel loved at least by somebody. I thought that for once you could finally have what you wanted. I tried to do something for _you_, Dawnie"

"Why would you?"  
_I don't understand…_

"Cause you're not alone like you always think you are. We do care about you. I do care about you. Spike _loves_ you" Willow's eyes started to water. "And I could finally prove to Tara that me doing magic could actually do something good"

_My head is about to explode, help me! _Dawn calmed down. That moment to make matters worse the doorbell rang and it could only be one person.

Dawn shook her head and ran upstairs. Safe to her room. Where she hope she'd be safe.

"What happened?" She heard his voice from downstairs.

"Don't ask, Spike" was Willow's answer. "I need to get away"

_So much confusion.  
__It's too much. _

She heard the front door close and the sound of the television switching on.  
Dawn laid there listening to the sounds. Eventually it was silent.  
When she heard footsteps coming up the stairs she switched her bed light of.  
She heard his breathing. She heard him sitting down in her chair. Felt his gaze focused on her. He was guarding her like a dog.  
And she wanted nothing more than his arms around her safely.  
But she couldn't permit herself to let him know that she was awake.  
She wasn't quite ready.

For another confrontation.


	22. Something off

When Dawn woke up, the morning sun teased her awake.  
She looked around no more Spike.  
Even though she was sure he had been there the night before. He had been waiting by her bed.  
Maybe he had been waiting for her to talk to him. She did noticed something on her pillow though.  
It was the small gift box that Buffy had handed over to her.  
He wanted her to open it. That was for sure. She felt nervous, looked around her to make sure Spike wasn't hiding out somewhere.

Then she took of the red ribbon of the white small box and opened it. In between a piece of clothing she found a little green gem.  
She held it between two fingers and studied it closely. "That's kind of pretty" she said to herself. Then she heard a knock on her door and quickly put it back in the box.

Buffy entered.

"Breakfast Dawnie. I made your favourite" She smiled.

"Gee, thanks" Dawn mumbled to herself sarcastically. Usually Buffy wasn't this bright and nice in the morning.  
Usually she was still a little bit moody. At least to Dawn.

"I'll be downstairs in a minute" Dawn informed her sister. Buffy nodded and closed the door, still smiling. Dawn opened the white box again and held the gem in her hand.  
"Why would Spike give me this?" She asked herself.

"So, I made you heart shaped pancakes" Buffy said as Dawn came down the stairs. "Would you like any marmalade with that?"

Dawn shrugged and sat down. Anya, Xander, and Willow had also joined them for the breakfast.

"Did you and Spike work things out yet?" Willow asked Dawn. Dawn started to feel uncomfortable.  
"No, Willow"

"Come on Dawnie, why don't you just give Spike a big kiss and then find a bunch of exciting places to make out. I find I can really recommend the bathroom" Anya nodded.

This time Dawn felt her cheeks turn red.

"Yes, because Spike and you really make a great couple. You know I'll always support you now, don't you?" Buffy came upto Dawn and held her in a tight embrace. Dawn's eyes almost popped out of their place.

"Is this all a big joke?" Dawn called out finally. "Some sort of agreed intervention that should make me see that dating Spike is a ridiculous idea?"

"Oh no Dawnie, we are all one hundred percent behind you. In fact we booked you and Spike a hotel room tonight, so you can both enjoy your new found love" Xander this time said.

Dawn's mouth dropped open.

"Have you all gone robotic? What's going on here?" Dawn looked around. They were all smiling.

Something was really off. Dawn finally rose from her chair, not really sure if she should touch her food and pulled Willow to the hallway.

"Willow, what spell did you use this time?"

Willow shrugged. "I didn't do anything, Dawnie"

"Putting a spell on Buffy is one thing, but you're pushing this too far"

"No way, Dawn. I just want you to be happy. I didn't do anything else to anyone. I swear"

"There has to be something wrong" Dawn murmured.

"You're gonna want to eat your pancakes. They are delicious!" Willow pleaded.

"Ehm.. no thanks. Not hungry. Gotta eh go…" Dawn ran upstairs to her room. She grabbed the white box and a backpack.

"Gotta find Giles" She said to herself. He usually knew what to do in awkward situations.


End file.
